Los Angeles: Bitches

by Mary Novokhovsky Editor: Mary Novokhovsky

To me everybody else is just becoming another asshole too these days.

This is the city of dreams denied, delayed or waiting for a direct deposit. I picture: a man in a black suit with teeth too big for his mouth, always cracking a dirty joke and flashing a big wink before he lays down a devil’s deal.

I came here to be an artist. 8 months later – I would call myself more of a fart-ist.

Something happened- amidst the chaos of 100 foot palm trees, broken glass and feral cats: I disconnected.

All systems: off. Everybody – even in all of their unique and beautiful grandeur: from the man with the prosthetic leg, golden chain and the jesus thumpin’ pamphlets on the corner – to the beautiful babe with the long red hair like fire across the street – began to blend into one big OYVEYBITCH.

When you’re living in LA, it feels like there’s always a camera rolling. Suck it in, suck it up, go to the bathroom and throw up your breakfast burrito. Everybody is watching but nobody sees you. Most of us are just extras. The guy eating the hot dog on the bottom left hand side of the screen during the climactic romance scene: a beautiful young white couple wearing banana republic couple stops traffic to make out in the street.

I feel broken. A few weeks ago I got into a tousle with a female comic – I’m sort of a comic myself, just barely leaving a half empty bar in chuckles when I get a chance. Anyway, the argument was asinine, but after we both made our “intelligent” points it was time to bash one another on a really human level.


We’ve come to a point- where everybody and everything can just be boiled down to some kind of BITCH.

“You Silverlake looking bitch- with your stupid hipster glasses,” she said to me.

Deep inside- not so deep inside, I was offended because a) I don’t live in Silverlake b) it was a really unoriginal and totally cliche diss and c) because apparently- that’s just my vibe. I’m just a Silverlake bitch. It doesn’t matter if I feel like there’s more to me. I’m just a Silverlake looking bitch.

When we feel broken- the people around us are no longer real beings. They are just…part of the shoot. A mass of faceless extras. It becomes easy to walk right past or through a moment where you being present could have mattered.

To me everybody else is just becoming another asshole too these days. You’re probably just somebody who’s getting ready to judge me for looking like some crazy ultra feminist or hipster or gringa or just BITCH. Maybe you’re one of those people who is denial about white privilege. Maybe you’re just some hack. That comic up on stage talking about some bullshit- she was probably just another liberal arts kind of bitch, who probably majored in something really obnoxious like, Media Studies with a focus in “always posting buzz feed articles with images of disney princesses who have been photoshopped to be more politically correct”.

Basic bitches, skinny bitches, white bitches, latina bitches, sons of bitches, bitches who actually wear clothing from the Kardashian line, bitches who don’t smoke weed, bitches who are pretty chill about smoking weed, BBW bitches, bitches with attitude, bitches who are super fake, bitches who are sort of fake, bitches you don’t wanna be seen with, bitches who are just always trippin’.

We’ve come to a point- where everybody and everything can just be boiled down to some kind of BITCH.

How do we learn to become people with empathy – capable of taking in the humanity of another individual we encounter before we apply a label? It feels lame, cliche – old and used to talk about acceptance but in a city rooted in the long standing hollywood tradition of rejection – maybe that would make this whole rat race we’re all a part of a little easier?

Who am I kidding? You’re all just a bunch of bitches and so am I.

Here’s the visual art part where the rants cuts off.

I want to attach obvious absurdity to this social trend of just boiling the entire world down to some kind of BITCH.

Please send me your thoughts, feelings or bitch pics.
M.Novokhovsky@gmail.com
@Maryismaryisms

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